Letting Go ~ when it’s not right, but it’s okay ~
When we truly have presence of mind, we will realise that life is a ladder of lessons upon lessons, where no cheating is allowed and where each lesson meant to be learnt must be learnt; and just like in school, we don’t get to consciously choose our teachers, they could literally come out of nowhere! I imagine everyone goes through experiences that teach them to let go. This is one of the hardest things to do, because we are so programmed to absorb and be deeply involved, that we automatically get sucked into the heart of situations and get stuck in the maze.
Being someone with strong opinions, a love for self expression and a nature that critiques ideas and beliefs a lot, I struggle a lot with people who exhibit rigidity and an aversion to dissenting views that blocks them from seeing beyond what I consider illusions. Curiosity and depth of mind means I get to scan a lot of information, where I am sometimes overloaded, and the frustration that then sets in, is when I see people blocked from seeing what I see or from knowing what I know. My initial intention is to inform, but then this information can then get rejected or dismissed, and my instinct is to rescue or save them from their “blindness”, which in truth, I cannot. Considering all interactions are just but reflections back to ourselves, I find a great lesson. I focus on myself and realize that I am burdening myself with a cross that isn’t mine to bear. That all I am being called to is to speak my truth ~ truth as I deeply perceive and feel and know, but the rest is beyond me. Whoever is meant to get the message at the particular time gets it and that is for whom it is meant for. The lesson for me is to let go, let go of the attachment to the need to pry open other people’s eyes and minds. Why? Because while I perceive them as lost, uninformed and closed-minded, the reality is that we are on different parts of our journeys and it is therefore impossible to see or accept things in the same way. People awaken to things and ideas when they are ready, not when we tell them to. Just as I cannot un-see or un-know things, so they too may find comfort in things being as they are. The great thing is, we always find a balance, there are those that are open to us and there are those that aren’t, always! Only that the law of attraction means that we get more of what we focus on, so there is surely no point in self-sabotaging when the power is yours… you choose which wolf to feed.
Another of my painful lessons came in the way of debt ~ yeah; this is a classic one for many people! I’d easily give good amounts of money to friends and acquaintances and then have to go through the draining process of asking for payments that wouldn’t materialize. A great indicator of where we are being given an opportunity to learn is when a situation keeps recurring over and over. I complained and got as sour as one gets, blaming them for betraying my trust. It looks silly but when we are in the learning process, we might not realise how we are the ones advancing our own pain. I of course lent these monies at different times, but I came to notice a pattern. I’d not get paid back, I’d complain, do the back and forth, convince myself to bitterly let go so as to avoid the draining that comes with this, stop talking to them, then repeat the cycle. I have lost friends and contacts over this, but casualties are a normal part of war, in this case… learning and growth.
I only realised there was purpose to my circumstances when I stepped back and observed the pattern, and by now I knew that until the lesson is learnt, the situation will continue to recur. So I decided to be a diligent student, quit whining and take responsibility. I understood that my initial letting go was more like giving up and escaping, because it meant trying to forget or ignore the issue as much as I could, which is a desperate short cut. It would take a simple reminder, I would be triggered and then re-live the hurt. Genuinely letting go feels nothing like this, quite the opposite ~ it comes with a sense of peace, the issue matters no more, but rather, that you have learnt and can move on and move higher.
So I decided to remove my dull tail from between my legs, shake it off, get into my conscious cloak, light my candle and incense and do some soul reflections. This required that I allow all the emotions that surfaced ~ betrayal, bitterness, blame ~ without judgement, and then gently letting them go… I also needed to take responsibility, knowing that I had played a part in creating my circumstances by willingly making choices that landed me in the ditch. I also forgave myself for any ways I self-betrayed or self-blamed… Then, I sought for the lesson(s) that the experience could be teaching me and how to demonstrate that I had learnt or I was learning so as to get out of the loop. Throughout this process, I do not focus on anyone other than myself, because they are only but a vehicle to my enlightenment. It is a brave moment because it is not easy to face up to yourself, get out of the victim mode and make corrections. It illustrates self love as well, because of wanting to become a better version of you, in a way that’s not easy and that comes with some pain/ discomfort.
This is not the only way I have gotten lessons in letting go. We have all gone through the emotionally harrowing decision to finally let go of people that we had become so fond of, some to a nearly-addicted point. We have gone through the endless cycle because we are either unaware that there is a lesson to learn here, or maybe we choose to ignore it because it feels inconvenient. But when we realise it won’t let up, we have no option but to cut ties…
The amazing thing is that when we let go, our veils are lifted, and we start to see the illusion behind our obsession with an issue or a person. With no blindfolds, we are able to make decisions that will seal the holes that would otherwise get us in the same ditch. Rather than create walls that imprison us, we are able to create healthy boundaries that keep us safe and well. So that next time, where we would automatically say YES, we now give an assured NO, without guilt-tripping ourselves. The magic of this as well, is that just as a lesson can be learnt in any area of your life, so can it be applied. The boundaries set for instance, will more likely run through many parts of your life… almost like a one size fits all, so cool!
As I said, letting go is no mean feat, but it’s a liberating one. First you get hammered real good, then when you can’t take it anymore; you get humbled into submission to finally get on a path to more peace, freedom and empowerment…
~ Stay Conscious ~
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